17 september 2007

today.. feel good..

bulan pose da start. today da hr yg ke lima puase.. kejap je mase blalu.. hm.. recently, mcm2 bnd da happen. i just came back from padang, indonesia. it was an exciting experience 4 me. it really2 makes me turn out to b d most cheerful person.. happy la kt sana.. tenang sangat.. i think, i'll elaborate more on dis matter later.. maybe in d next post.. now, i just want to share wht i feel.. its all about love.. boring huh? hm.. but, without love.. dis world will become.. dull.. rite? can u imagine? nway, da quite lame xde pacar kn.. hehe.. next month, kire da 1 year la.. hm.. it taught me a lot.. happiness.. laugh.. cry.. missing.. alone.. frenship.. lots more.. yesterday, all my frens updating their love story to me.. good to hear ade.. yg sad story ade... i? i got my own story also.. but, its quite complicated to tell here.. i'm really appreciate for those who willing to love me.. especially, my family.. frens.. they all dat i only have now. how bout bf? ade gak crush wit some guys.. but, it doesn't mean much to me.. its just like.. suke.. its not what we call love.. i guess la.. i don't think dat i'm goin to hv bf at d moment.. for me, bf will makes me miserable.. at 1st, u r everything.. but, wail till it become a quite long rltnship.. it will become more to sucks.. hm.. i dunno.. dis is my theory. for dis time la.. next time.. wallahualam.. i learn a lot how to b stronger.. how to control my feelings.. it makes me takut nk create new relationship. serik ker? ntah.. but, i'm happy wit what i'm doin rite now. i feel better. mayb, i feel tired wit all dat kind of things dat makes me insane.. dulu la.. i dun want to feel dat again.. i want to fully appreciate my own life.. without any disturbance from those irritating feelings. however, sumtimes it makes me so lonely. i miss to hv a person dat can listen to my "stories". i love to tell stories to my ex. he was just a nice person dat cud listen all what i'm goin to say. how sweet huh? haha. but, people changed.. he changed too.. i miss to spend d quality time wit him. but, it impossible. i just can't accept him anymore now.. for what dat has happen.. he has changed to the other type of person.. totally changed. how am i supposed to do? i think a lot.. i beg a lot.. i hope a lot.. its just gone like dat. i can't get him back.. d real one.. i don't need him dat what he is now.. then.. it makes me to accept all this faith.. i just tell to myself dat.. dis is all from GOD.. i hv to accept it.. its just simple as dat.. but, its hurts me. until now... i'll continue later.. hepi fasting!